Manjoyment Monday: Brother Dan

Today is my brother Dan's 30th Birthday!
In celebration of this auspicious occasion, Dan is today's Man.

"No International Incidents."

I have 3 words for you Dan:
Happy Natal Day!
Fuck yo couch!

A farewell

I have no words...

Be at rest Nanny. Love you always.

A Very Crabby Birthday

Just a fun little note to say that today (and all night) (oh, and all weekend long too) we'll be celebrating the Beaner's birthday!



Even the crabs and seagulls will be dancing!

Happy Birthday there thither!

NAKED PANIC ATTACK

Long story short. Julibean had the worst night ever last night trying to see a Mumford and Sons concert (which Ashley and Cynthia said was the best concert they ever saw) and it turned into a story very reminiscent of the Naked Bronx Zoo story our Dad likes to tell us sometimes.

So here's something for the Beaner (and Becky) to make them feel better. Seriously, we'll be laughing about this in a year's time.




P.S. I LOVE this song and didn't know the name of it. I have an entire Pandora station dedicated to Mumford and Sons and other bands in the what I like to call "Jig Rock" genre.

P.P.S. We have decided that the next time they're nearby Julianne and I are going to their concert and doing it right. Tailgate. Beer. The whole nine yards.

Brudder Day

Today is a special day. It is Dan's birthday. I'm not quite sure how to put into words how awesome my brother is.

But whatever words or motions or actions that would be, I'd be doing it as hard as I could...and hoped he could see it from here.


Love you! Can't wait to see you!

DPF: Ouila!

This one is for Julibean:



Allow me to explain. Yesterday morning Julianne told me she wasn't feeling well and that she thought she had pulled something in her sleep. She had a pain in her side.

Immediately my mind always flies to APPENDIX mostly because freshman year a friend of mine (after two trips to the hospital, and then being dismissed twice for "nothing") had his appendix burst on him and it was quite possibly one of the most horrible things ever.

So I ask her more about her symptoms and play doctor. She said stabbing pain, immediately I think APPENDIX, but the pain wasn't in the right spot. She was having shortness of breath and a pain in her ribs on her right hand side. At that point I thought maybe gallbladder because our mother had hers out back in '96 and had trouble with it even in earlier years.

I am the last person who will jump up and go to the doctor on a whim. Unless I think I need antibiotics, I'll get through it on my own. But when it's something like shooting pain in your abdomen I say, get thee to the doctor!

Julibean called her doctor, but he couldn't give her an appointment until noon today, and suggested going to the doc in the box. She goes to the clinic and has a few tests done, and they say, you should go to the emergency room. At this point we all were thinking gallbladder.

After a round of tests at the emergency room, and a day sitting around in pain at the hospital since they didn't give her any pain meds until they knew what was wrong, finally at around 11pm they told her it was appendicitis and they'd have to yank it out of her.

AHA! APPENDIX!

All night all I could think of was the Madeline episode where she has her appendix out and all the other girls want theirs out too. I asked Julianne if she was going to have a funny shaped scar and she said no, they were removing it through her belly button...which really only made me think of mummies having their brains yanked out through their nose.

...I'm sick that way.

APPENDIX!

This Just In!

For some reason I woke up at 4am this morning. Couldn't get back to sleep either. So I was away at 4:16am when I got a txt message from my cousin.

A baby is born!

Alexandra, the golden child. 21" 6lbs 15oz.
Best part, she has a freak'n mohawk!

Jaclyn is healthy, baby is healthy. Family is HAPPY.

We went to visit at the hospital this afternoon and oh man, all I can say is this girl is going to get so much love and attention it's not even funny.

Nanny's first great grand child!


Mama holds the newest little addition.


Dave is the happiest new uncle on the block.
I personally think Alexandra has his nose.


I get in some snuggle time.

I have a photo of Jaclyn and the fresh out of the oven baby, but as most new mothers do Jack looks pretty worn out in the photo so I'm not going to post it out of kindness. However, let me be the first to say that Jaclyn looks fantastic for just having squeezed out a little bundle of joy.

I think other than the epic mohawk, that I love the fact she just kept on putting her fists up against her face like, no more close ups, please! It's snuggle time and I want to just sleep in a cocoon.

It's happening

Dear Julibean,

When we open our bakery we will be making and selling these:


We could do it to support No Shave November or find some legit reason, but it's happening.

That is all.

Dance Party Friday: Spin it

Yeah. I went there.

After work Mama and I leave to go see Julianne for the weekend. Dress shopping, and hopefully no cat fights.

Manjoyment Monday: Lulu's Hero

This morning, Lulu and I had quite an adventure. And whenever there is an adventure where Lulu is concerned it morphs into quite the Saga.

My morning started out a little off to begin with. For some reason the heat in my bedroom is set to come on at like 5:30am at 10000 degrees. So I was warm and irritable.

I hit the MOTHER OF ALL POTHOLES on Peninsula Boulevard right before the Hospital. It was regretably unavoidable even though I knew it was there from previous drives down the road. There was some other car in the left lane riding the line so I couldn't really go around this MASSIVE pothole.

So I'm on the Southern State and right around the Meadowbrook this fun little light pops up on my dash. It kind of looks like this: (!) and it is also a very vague light. It could mean anything from Lulu requires windshield wiper fluid to holy hell the rear axle is going to fly off at any second!

I don't smell anything strange leaking out from under the hood, nor can I hear anything that sounds remotely threatening so I just slow down and continue on.

By the time I am approaching the Wantagh and I realize, yeah, that's the tire. I get off on the Wantagh reasoning to myself that at least I'll be closer to my Dad's office and he can come and help me out if things get ugly.

Things got ugly.

I couldn't make it to the Sunrise Highway exit (although I wound up stopping within sight of it), and when I called AAA they said they couldn't send someone because the Wantagh doesn't have a shoulder and their trucks are not allowed. So I'd have to call a tow, have it tow me off the Wantagh and then call AAA back again.

At this point my Dad was on his way and he told me to call the HELP Truck and see what they could do. Before I even called he pulled up behind me and pretty much all he could do was give me the tow truck's phone number. Awesome.

Dad arrives with a pump and we get some air in the tire and drive it off the highway and into a parking lot nearby and inflate some more.


Yeah, it was a fun morning.

Finally we get to the nearby Subaru dealer's Service Shop and drop off the car. I'll definitely need a new tire and I might be in the market for a full new set (which wont' be so happy for my bank account) but we'll see what the prognosis is later today.

So here he is, Lulu's hero and today's Man. M'Dad.

Don't he look so cute in his little safety yellow vest?

Dance Party Friday: Mov'n all week with you!

I'm so glad this week is over, like woah. I can't even explain in words.

Julibean gets in tonight and we're baking for Andy's birthday tomorrow. It's a fun filled weekend including but not limited to: shopping, baking, wrapping, decorating, dentists, partying, dress shopping, rinse repeat.

Only in work one day next week since I planned (before getting infected for a week) to take a few vacation days and let myself rest some.

Dan flies in next Thursday! And Jason should be popping up at sometime next week.

Things are looking wonderful!

DPF: Thus and Verily

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Today's Dance Party Friday is in celebration of Guy Fawkes!

Something tells me if I lived in England Guy Fawkes Day/Night would be something I could get into. It seems like a cross between Halloween and Independence Day which are two of my most favorite holidays here in the states.

It seems like a day of Thanksgiving and although Turkey Day isn't my favorite thing I still appreciate the "giving thanks" nature behind the holiday.

So please enjoy this snapshot from a few years ago of Jim gett'n down with his bad self, Guy Fawkes style:


And as always, remember remember...

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,

I know of no reason

Why the Gunpowder Treason

Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent

To blow up the King and Parli'ment.

Three-score barrels of powder below

To prove old England's overthrow;

By God's providence he was catch'd (or by God's mercy*)

With a dark lantern and burning match.

Holla boys, Holla boys, let the bells ring.

Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

And what should we do with him? Burn him!

WW: Dress hunting, not a spectator's sport

So on Saturday we hopped on the train and ventured into the City. It was nice to spend some quality time with the girls. Julianne was up from the MD with Nancy her future mother in law, and Jaclyn was out and about in her newly purchased maternity jeans.

Can I just go off on a tangent here and say that I'm super excited for this baby? We find out if they are having a boy or a girl around Thanksgiving! And Jaclyn looks fabulous, I'm a little peeved at how good she looks with her little baby bump.

Anyway...

I have to say that originally I was super excited to go to Kleinfelds and get the whole wedding dress shopping experience and try on some Stephanie James dresses but as the date approached I was dreading it more and more.

Let me make myself clear. I am in no way dreading being married, I love my fiance and can't wait to have a life and a home and a family with him. I am however, starting to stress over the wedding itself and the search for my dress has only added onto that stress.

So here we are standing in the lobby of Kleinfelds waiting for Keasha to come get us for my appointment and the whole place is buzzing with activity. The store itself is pretty grandiose and it's an impressive space for the city.

Keasha and her assistant Gabrielle (maybe Gabriella-I'm awful with names) bring us back to the dressing room and we chat about the important things like my budget and what I want and what I'm looking for and we hit the ground running.

I tried on the Josephine dress and it was okay but not my favorite. I tried on something that looked like a cross between the Tame Fifi and the Olivia dress. Mostly they were okay but didn't feel very special. The Ms Kennedy dress looked fantastic on me I just wasn't thrilled with the horizontal stripes in the fabric. They're very pretty but don't look so great on me.

For my mother I tried on a very tight fitting very ornate dress. It looked amazing on me. That I'll admit, but it just wasn't "me" and I couldn't move so much in it. Forget trying to sit down.

My biggest let down was the fact that they didn't have the Audrey dress in the store. Here's where I was baffled. They had it in their store window and when I asked about it they looked at me like I was crazy. I explained that I didn't call ahead because I had seen it in the window and assumed that if it was in the display that it was available to try on in the store. Finally when I described it as the dress with the polka dots and the blue tulle they figure it out.

They went down to see if it was still around and of course it wasn't. Basically I was hugely disappointed in the whole experience. Keasha was awesome, like she's just as hilarious and fun and sweet as she is on TV. Randy is fabulous and a hell of a lot skinnier than he looks on TV, and everyone was very helpful. I guess I just had these huge expectations and nothing worked out the way I had hoped.

It was an exhausting day and right after my appointment we flew right into Julibean's and boy was that even more exhausting.

I've said it before and I'll say it again though, my mother and I might never agree on what a "wedding dress" should look like. To me my thought is, if I wear it on my wedding day, it's a wedding dress. To my mother she feels it must be something special or ornate or detailed.

We'll continue to knock heads over this I believe.

Smut for the Masses!

One day I'll be a published author...one day...

Me: what would you do if I became a published author of smut?
Julibean: I really couldn't care less
Julibean: I think it's a little silly
Julibean: but whatever
Julibean: can I pose for the covers?
Julibean: lol
Me: okay, just plain old trashy fiction
Me: hahaha
Me: no, I'm thinking I'd rather just have plain covers with bright colors
Julibean: that's no fun
Me: so you wouldn't feel awkward about reading them in public
Julibean: you've got to hook them in with the cleavage
Me: HAHAHA
Me: but Fabio doesn't do cover art anymore!
Julibean: oh that's too bad

Horseshoes and Handgrenades

And this is why I love my brother...


Me: so last night I had a dream
Me: that we were sky diving out of a helicopter
Me: and Julianne and Dad dropped together
Me: but then we were catching up to them because the helicopter was falling out of the sky
Me: and you kind of crash landed upright in the woods
Dan: That's pretty fucked up
Me: and suddenly I was this little Chinese escapee or something and some asshole gave me a armed grenade that I couldn't let go of lest we all die
Me: and I found some soldier in a Volkswagen micro-bus nearby and asked for his help
Me: and then these badasses came out of now where and started shooting at him
Me: so I threw the grenade at them
Me: and then I ran
Me: and everyone was running towards me but I waved them off and the bus exploded
Me: and then I climbed up a tree with my flat little shoes
Me: it was so weird
Dan: Unscrew the fuse from the main body next time
Me: well I thought of that when I woke up
Me: that I could unscrew something
Dan: Elise, what the hell did you have for dinner?
Me: meatloaf?
Dan: Well, so far as I know the pin and spoon screw into the grenade body. You could conceivable unscrew that from the body and then just let go of the spoon.
Me: good to know
Dan: Then the fuse would burn down, but not have any bursting charge to set off.
Dan: Since that's in the body, which you've disconnected...
Me: I like how you totally disregard your crash landing a helicopter or me suddenly being Asian and go straight for the munitions part
Me:
Dan: I focused on the thing I could actually affect.


Good to know!

The Cabinette

Today my Dad is bringing home his mother from her cabin up near Monticello. Since before my Dad was born the Shapies have spent every summer in a tiny two bedroom cabin a few miles from Yasgur's Farm and since I was young and mistakenly called it the cabinette, we've dubbed it such.

I love the cabin. It's falling apart. My father and I spent an entire weekend prying, sawing, nailing and reconstructing wobbly boards and old stairs on the decks this summer. The floors are uneven, everything creaks and half the doors don't close properly on the inside due to the shift in the foundation.

But I love the cabin.

I also love my grandma.

Mima is, as Julibean, Dan and I like to call her, a stand up broad. She is constantly giving everything of herself to those around her and never asks or expects anything in return. In fact when Dad and I took to fixing the decks (so she wouldn't trip over a loose board) Mima continued to fuss over how we were doing too much.

I thought it was fun. In fact, I haven't wielded a hammer since my days with Habitat for Humanity and those are some of my fondest memories of high school. And yes, I walked away from the weekend with a sore arm and blisters on my hammering hand but it was worth it and I really do enjoy carpentry.

I'm glad that Mima will be around this week/weekend and I hope she doesn't fuss too much about us wanting to spend time with her. Sometimes she gets overwhelmed by too much attention because she's not used to it. I guess it's difficult for people who have spent their life taking care of others to allow someone to take care of them.

But I'm also glad that we'll be able to spend Rosh Hashanah with her and she won't spend the new year alone. There's nothing this little Catholic girl loves more than some Jewish soul food.

Bring on the brisket!

And to all my actual Hebe friends and relatives: L’shanah tovah tikatevi v’taihatem. May you be sealed for a good year.

DPF: Aunties

Yesterday was my Aunt Nancy's birthday!

Her favorite animal is the otter!

Celebrate!

The Beaner does Birthdays

Today is Julibean's birthday!

It's also our cousin Dona's birthday too!

To celebrate, here is a ridiculous photo of the two of us when we were little.

I loved that damn wig, even though it smelled like the attic no matter how long it aired out.
Plus check out that sweet animal print patchwork shirt! Ahhhh the 80s!


And just so we're clear on the fact that my sister has always had quite the personality...

I like to call this one "Clownitude"

HAPPY NATAL DAY JULIBEAN!
(and Dona!)

A Slightly Belated Father's Day

Today's Man is a very special one.

It's my Dad.

Truth be told, I am a total Daddy's Girl. Not only do I love my father like any daughter would, I also consider him one of the most level-headed people I know and constantly seek his opinion on things or advice.

If there's a question in my life, so monstrous like, "Should I be a designer or a doctor?" or somewhat insignificant like, "Is the traffic moving better on the Throgs Neck or the Whitestone?" I'll call my Dad.

I credit my father with my dry sarcastic wit and my uncanny sense of direction. I also credit my father with random knowledge about brain coral and sea fans, and my taste in music.

Mostly I just wanted to say, Happy Father's Day Dadoo! Love you always :)

Riding a Praying Mantis on the Carousel at the Bronx Zoo.

DPF: A Day without Dancing

Today I woke up and this is what I saw:


There is no dancing today. The Beaner is gone. I am alone with my parents in the house again.

And all she left me was a Louisville Slugger, some change containers sans change, and a dirty water cup.

No dancing. Just a sister-less existence.