Manjoyment Monday: Fursplode or Die

It will never get old...or any less funny...

Dance Party Friday: It's Gone to the Dogs!

My best friend Casey has pretty much the world's greatest Christmas decorations on her front yard.

No, she doesn't have a singing Santa or one of those blow up snowglobes. She doesn't have a human-sized nut cracker or life-like reindeer.

What she has is far more exciting!

(Sorry about the poor quality, it's from my phone.)

Yes, that's right. She has these huge cardboard cut outs that her brother made at Kinkos years ago of Charlie Brown, Snoopy and Linus. And every year they go out and find the most pathetic looking tree they can scrounge and put a giant disco ball and some random beads on it.

It is fabulous. I look forward to it every year and I love them to death for coming up with this.

Snoopy is really big in my family. My grandfather loved Snoopy and Woodstock and my Mom always gets us Snoopy-related birthday cards. Plus my grandma used to work for MetLife and so we had random Snoopy paraphernalia all over the place.

So in honor of my Snoopy heritage, and Casey's decorations I give you a very special Dance Party Friday:
You can just hum Linus and Lucy to yourself while you enjoy the Snoopy Dance.

Merry Christmas.
Happy (belated) Hanukkah.
Joyous Festivus.
Happy Kwanza.

Or as we say in Partial Credit:

Happy Chrstmahanukwanzakah!

One more Sleep till Christmas

Back when I was a sophomore in college I was going through a rough time. Everything just seemed to not be going well.

I had broken up with my first boyfriend, the second attempt at a relationship with another guy turned into an utter failure, as did a third, and a fourth, and plans to move off campus with some friends fell through. Not to mention my mother thought that it would be a great time to tell me Niederstein's had closed and they were tearing it down.

Niederstein's had been a huge part of my childhood. Every important event, an anniversary, a birthday, even a christening, we'd all go to Niederstein's. I'd sit there with my mom's father Poppy and he'd tell me all these wonderful stories about how Niederstein's used to be a stable house and how much he loved the history of places like that.

So when my mother off the cuff mentioned that it was gone, it added onto the turmoil I was already suffering through, I just broke down and cried myself to sleep. It was just one of those places that I could vividly remember Poppy in and now that he's gone there were certain things I was hanging onto and losing Niederstien's was like loosing him all over again.

I vaguely remember telling Jason all about this. At the time we were close friends but didn't spend much time hanging out (it was more of an online friendship), but I felt like I could tell him anything. He was on his way out - running off to class or something - but he sent me a file before he left.

It was a full length version of the Muppet Christmas Carol. I'm sure at some point over the months our friendship had blossomed I had mentioned to him how whenever I'm feeling horrible, watching the Muppet Christmas Carol always made me feel so much better. So he had gone out of his way to download it and send it to me so I could sit in bed, mope a little, watch the Muppets, and feel better about the world.

It worked. I got over everything and swore off men for the rest of the year. Nix on Dicks till 2006 became my own little mantra and I was so much happier about life. It was kind of like a turning point, in a bizarre way. When January rolled around and I lifted my ban on men, I realized how awesome Jason was and the rest is history.

So for all of you out there who are missing someone this Christmas, whether they be across the country or gone forever, I hope adding a little Muppet to your day can help you smile.

After all, there's only one more sleep till Christmas!

A Day in the Life of Charo

For those of you who don't know, Charo is the wonderful woman I have the privilege of working with 5-days a week. No, that's not her real name, but her utter annoyance, ridiculous appearance and moronic banter has reminded me of Charo so much, that everyone else around me now knows her as Charo and understands exactly what I'm talking about whenever I mention her in a story. In case you were wondering, Charo is a 45 year old divorcee single mom living with her Mother.

8:42am Calls my cell phone. Why on earth did I EVER give her that number? To tell me that she's "down the block" and that she "suffered a migraine yesterday and didn't get much sleep"...LIKE I NEED TO KNOW?! Insight: she's never on time to work, she supposedly works 8:30-5:30 but often doesn't get here until 9:00 or later. At least she's stopped calling me to let me know she's running late and to tell our manager that this came up or that slowed her down this morning. Because honestly, he doesn't give a damn when she's here.
8:45am Strolls quickly into the office.
8:47am Calls friend to tell her a story about her night.
8:55am Finally hangs up with friend, only to go to the restroom to fluff out her ridiculous hair.
9:00am Calls mother to make sure son got to school okay. Mother makes comment about how he was "warm enough for you" when she sent him off to school. I love with Mother makes a crack at Charo's parenting skills.
9:03am Forgot to set the DVR and tries to explain to Mother how to do it for her.
9:05am Pouts when Mother can't figure it out.
9:06am Realizes she's forgotten to send son to school with a snack, and "NO, the other kids won't share with him." Probably because he's an outcast since he has massive ADD.
9:08am Tells Mother to read the directions in the book to learn how to program the DVR because apparently she can't miss this program that is probably something stupid to begin with. Key phrase: "Look in the book, that's how I learned!"
9:10am Knocks hand impatiently against desk.
9:12am Continues to patronize Mother as she attempts to set DVR. "I knew I should have done this, I have too much on my mind." Read: You're a dumbass Mother, and I can't believe you can't figure this out yourself!
9:13am Cell phone rings while on office phone. For once it's on vibrate instead of some awful loud pop song. Charo actually doesn't answer.
9:14am From the sounds of it, Mother asks why doesn't she just come home and do it herself. "This really isn't that difficult, HIT RECORD! I have to work! This is exactly what I wanted to watch."
9:15am Mother finally figures it out. Charo demands address to someone's house barely thanking Mother.
9:16am Finally hangs up.

9:53am Charo walks into my cube, without announcing herself or knocking, and asks if we have mailing labels. She literally has her hand on the box of them while she's asking me where they are.
9:54am Asks me if I went away this weekend, even though we had this discussion twice last week that I wasn't going away because I have work and I have a lot of house-hold things to take care of.
9:55am Charo's one actual friend in the office comes into my cube...at least he knocks! But he isn't here to talk to me. We'll call him Doofus. Doofus goes on to tell Charo how he met someone who was asking about her and Doofus gave random guy her number.
9:56am My manager T, whose office is right next to my cube closes his door. I can't help but laugh at the fact that he doesn't want to hear their mindless drivel about Charo's pathetic personal life any more than I do. Doofus thinks I'm laughing about something he said in his story. I tell him I was laughing at the closed door behind him.
9:58am They finally leave my area. But continue their conversation in Charo's cube.
9:59am T's door opens and Denise pops out. I actually like Denise, we commiserate together often about the annoying people we have to deal with. It was actually her who closed T's office door and I tell her how I thought it was him because they were standing right there talking.
10:00am Denise can't believe they were standing in my cube having a conversation without even involving me...not that I wanted to be involved in said conversation.
10:01am I eat a cookie T has given me. It is delicious. He never gives Charo cookies. I am his favorite assistant.
10:07am Doofus finally leaves after T calls Charo on her phone (despite the fact she's 20ft away from his office and doesn't hear him calling her). In parting she says she's eating lunch in the cafeteria today and he should join her so they can continue what I'm sure was a very interesting an crutial conversation.

10:20am Message from the email happy Charo: she has a dentist appointment tomorrow morning! Is it okay if she comes in early so she can leave for an hour during the day? THIS IS MY BUSINESS HOW?!?!

10:28am Call from friend (possibly ex-husband?) something having to do with son's hurt feelings. Apparently Charo loves new baby niece more than her own son?! Key phrase: "I get excited because she's a girl, but he is my pride and joy and I tell him that!"
10:30am Explains that she has to tell her son constantly, "I am the adult, I make the decisions." *laugh* "But that little girl's cheeks! I just want to eat her up!" I fear for this child.

11:34am Calls friend. Some guy friended her on Facebook and she needs confirmation from an outside source that she does in fact know him.
11:38am After a long-winded reply, her friend assures her, yes in fact Charo, you know this random guy! And she hangs up.

12:53pm I get back from lunch and Charo is just finishing another personal call...wonder if she was on the phone the entire time I was gone?

1:02pm Oh dear God! Her holiday ringtone is back! "Santa Claus, Santa Claus, must have been old Santa Claus..."

1:25pm Passes off work to me. Yeah, thanks for that. This is actually her responsibility to take care of, not mine.

1:34pm Finally realizes her phone had rang while she was away from her desk. Calls back to confirm dentist appointment tomorrow that I didn't need to know about in the first place.

2:09pm Enters my cube yet again unannounced and asks if I suffer from migraines. I'm sorry were we having a conversation? Did I miss the beginning of it?

3:20pm Phone buzzes on desk. Charo answers. It's a friend and she tells her all about the date she's going on tonight.
3:35pm Now that I know everything there is to know about this man since Charo really has no indoor voice, she hangs up.

3:40pm Doofus is back. Charo tells him all about how at lunch she was sitting in her car in the Sushi Express parking lot and a teenager hit her bumper.
3:41pm Doofus is aghast, how could a new teenage driver be so stupid and irresponsible!
3:42pm Charo explains how she's totally saving teenage driver's father like 5 grand a year just because she's not putting it through insurance and instead he's just going to pay for any repairs to her bumper.
3:45pm Urge to smack Charo...rising...
4:10pm Gathering my things to leave, Charo is still going on about the "accident". GET ME OUT OF HERE!


Sometimes I wish I was creative enough to make all of this up...but I'm really not. I'm so glad I don't have to see her face or hear the stupid quiet voice she puts on to sound attractive until next year!

Manjoyment Monday: Future Lady Killer

Well there are only three days of work this week, which is exciting because once I'm gone on Wednesday I don't have to be back to the office until January 4th!

But the holidays are a tender time to really spend with your friends and family. To honor that, today's man is a very special one.

Remember Xavier?

This little man is almost 8 months old now! And holy cow he's adorable. He will totally be a lady killer one day with his inherited (from his Daddy) dimple when he smiles real big. Uhh! I just want to eat him up he's so cute!

So here's hoping that you and yours have a wonderful holiday season and that you are truly grateful to have your family and friends. Enjoy your holiday and let's hope for snow!


I thought this one was so precious too. I love the way he's staring down Santa.

Wintery Microcosms

I live in a very small village on Long Island. Very small.

My graduating class was less than 75 students and although for some reason we have two LIRR stops we're only really one square mile. Itty bitty.

Everyone in our town pretty much knows each other, or someone closely related. We all have something or someone in common with everyone. Occasionally it's annoying that everyone knows your business and news spreads like wildfire, but mostly I think it's wonderful.

My block is a whole separate entity. I've lived in the same house my whole life, I've literally grown up with people in four houses on my block, and we watched the kids in the other five houses grow up behind us.

On the corner is Mrs. B. She lost her son last year and just this year lost her husband. Mrs. B. is like the block grandmother...when we were kids we'd go over to her house and decorate gingerbread houses, homemade gingerbread houses. She's always making jams and knitting things and bringing them over for us to enjoy.

Across the street is Pat. Her youngest kid is probably eight or so years older than I am so although she is a grandma she is not as elderly as Mrs. B. Pat also lost her husband this year so it seems to have been rough all around.

Down the block is a family that we've been good friends with. My brother was best friends with their son growing up. Right next door to them are the grandparents to a girl I went to school with. Then there's another family across the street who although they keep to themselves, have always been part of the scenery most my life.

Next door is a family that moved in when their oldest child was still a baby. I've watched the three kids grow up and Patty is the sweetest craziest little Italian lady I know. Charlie and I wave to each other each morning as we warm up our cars to leave for work. Now their oldest daughter is about to graduate college and it just makes me feel so utterly old.

On the other side is a family with two girls who've been great for Mrs. B. this year. We don't talk to Bob & Laurie much but they're very friendly and we've always gotten along with them.Sunday morning I woke up, had some pancakes with my dad and geared up to head outside. We had four cars to clear, a driveway to plow, two porches to shovel, walkways to unearth and at the end of the driveway where the plow had gone by we needed to take care of some serious drifts to get the cars out.

Down the block Bob had already cleared out Mrs. B's driveway and walkway and from the looks of it he and his buddy were getting ready to salt. While my dad attacked the driveway mound I hopped across the street to start clearing off Pat's car and shoveled her front stoop/walkway for her.

The neighbors that keep to themselves snow-blowed Pat's sidewalk and my dad finished off her driveway mound while I shoveled the snow out from under her tires. Up and down the block all of our neighbors were excitedly hurrying about clearing snow, shifting cars and lending a hand here and there. Claude walked over from his house a few blocks away to help his parents, I waved and asked how his daughter was. I think she's getting married this year (like so many of the girls I played volleyball with seem to be doing lately!)

I literally haven't seen half of my neighbors in years. We don't all keep the same schedules and we're in and out at different times of day but today I saw all of them and we chatted a little about how when we were younger this kind of snow would have been the stuffs dreams were made of.

Granted I did hop out into the yard when we were done shoveling and make a snow angel and dance around. Snow will always be wonderful, and our little microcosm will always take care of each other and lend a hand when necessary. It's a comforting feeling and it was nice to see everyone out and about and just helping each other without thinking about it.

Plus I love the snow!

Dance Party Friday: I Won't Grow Up

So this Dance Party Friday is brought to you by Grey's Anatomy. I always thought this was one of the funniest clips from Season 2. I enjoy Christina's way of "dancing it out" like okay guys, we've had a rough day, let's just dance!



Plus at some point we all have to grow up, don't we?

I don't ever want to grow up. Serious is only something you have to be until you can be Silly again!