Size Really Matters

...when it comes to penis cookies, it definitely does!

That's right, I said it. And that's right, we did go there.

Last night the Beaner and I baked penis cookies for Jaclyn's bachelorette party on Saturday. Now, our lovely sousin is NOT the type of girl to do any of the following:

• Go clubbing
• Go out drinking
• Be humiliated in public
  
• Enjoy a stripper's junk in her face

So because Jaclyn is quite tame we decided on a spa day, dinner and then a girly sleepover filled to the brim with 80s classics like Pretty in Pink and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. However, we still gotta have a little ridiculousness and that is why we chose to make penis cookies and cock-cakes. (Yes, we have a penis shaped cupcake pan that my sister bought which lead to priceless phrases from my mother like, "The penis pan really needs to come off the kitchen counter.")

Apparently penis cookie cutters are a little harder to come by and although Julibean had the original thought of buying a dog bone cookie cutter and improvising from there, we wound up doing free-style peni.

Hilarity ensued.

Not only did we make them FAR too big and they merely flattened into blobs, but the running commentary from my mother was quite incredible.

"I think I've said the word penis more times in the past hour than I have in my entire life."

I really do love my mother sometimes. Despite the fact that while we were forming these inappropriate cookies she was trying to give us an anatomy lesson...never fails when you have a science teacher for a mom.

Apparently penis cookie baking is more of an art form than we originally anticipated. Size really does matter and they need to be made very very tiny. Minuscule even. Upon realizing the first batch imploded to gargantuan sizes, I went about slicing the rest lengthwise to thin them out. Eventually I gave up and just made super tiny peni and those came out fine.

So tonight, we make cock-cakes with cream cheese frosting.